Cannon Center Stories: A Reconnaissance

Once upon a time, there was a magical, far away land called Helaman Halls. In Helaman Halls, though there were many outskirting villages, the center of all socializing and commerce was the Cannon Center. The Cannon Center was a place of much laughter, much feasting, drinking, entertainment, and play for those from the outside villages. They gathered in the Lobby, or in the Event Hall, but most often, these travelers, weary from their day of "hard labor" (freshmen, psh), would come to the Dining Hall.

The Dining Hall was a place of gathering and relaxation to most all these travelers, and as such, it required much work to keep running. Luckily, there was a handful of valiant bands who worked together to keep the Dining Hall in working condition, in such a manner that the villagers could relax and eat in this safe haven away from the evils of Homework. These bands were often centralized in a certain area, and they included the Grill, the Expo, the Hosts, the Euro, the Fusion, the Scullery, the Creamery, the Custodial band, and the Dishroom. The Creamery had it's own location, and this band's interaction with the others was limited. The Grill members worked from their own location, as did the Dishroom. The Hosts worked solely in the Dining Hall, and Custodial gang was centered with the rest of these bands in the Back Kitchen, but it was often spread throughout the Dining Hall and the associated locations, cleaning up after both the travelers and the other bands of workers.

Though these bands all worked together, there was some strife in their interaction. The members of the Grill were sometimes slow on days when the Custodial gang needed to clean out their space. More often, however, trouble came from the Dishroom.

The Custodial gang was a hard-working group, but they were far from wealthy. They had but a few scrub brushes, brooms, and a dustpan to complete their various tasks. However, whenever they arrived in the Back Kitchen to begin work, they found fewer and fewer of their items there. Upon their brief visits to the various parts of the Dining Hall, they found that the Dishroom was accumulating more and more scrub brushes, brooms, and other tools. As they already had more than enough there, the only plausible explanation was that the Dishroom was going on raids to the Custodial Closet of the Back Kitchen and taking these items, undoubtedly lead by their nefarious leader, the Count Milo.

Well, one day, the Custodial gang got to work, and discovered that there was only one scrub brush with which to scrub the halls of the Back Kitchen, a job which requires two workers. There was also a note from their leader, Sir Spencer, which said "Be on the lookout for the Custodial Dustpan; it is missing - discreetly check the Dishroom to see if it is there." Well, there was only one thing to do: someone had to go to the Dishroom to reclaim the scrub brush that rightfully belonged to the Custodial gang. One Custodial worker, a brave, blonde custodial worker (who is also single) tasked herself with retrieving the scrub brush from the Dishroom.

"Upon my honor, I will go retrieve this scrub brush, and I shall not return without it!" she exclaimed.

"Good luck!" said her fellow Custodial member, who was left attempting to sweep up a pile of dirt with a broom that only had half of its bristles, each hanging by a thread.

The brave blonde trekked across the Dining Hall. It was far past closing time, yet a few straggling villagers remained, soaking in what time they had away from the troubles of reality. Having been one of these once herself, the brave blonde shook her head mildly at them, and did not allow herself to reprimand them for the inconvenience that they caused. They did not know better.

She found herself at the door of the Dishroom. The cold metal barriers stood imposing and thick, and yet were not able to entirely keep out the wild noises from within. She took a deep breath, and turned the handle.

Immediately, the brave blonde was overcome by a wave of the stench of a thousand uneaten and then composted meals, and the banging and disjointed, atonal clanging of the helpless dishes and silverware, tossed around with utmost apathy in the swirling vortexes of water. Her eyes focused on the forms of the band of tall, sullen, male Dishroom workers, and the closest to her was none other than Count Milo. He briefly turned, saw her, and turned again to hide his wicked grin.

"What brings you to our domain?" he demanded. "What is it that you want?"

"Can I borrow a scrub brush?" the blonde squeaked.

He grinned once again, bearing two rows of blinding, clean-scrubbed teeth. "I'm afraid that WE are about to use the brushes," he said, cackling.

The blonde nearly gave up hope. However, though the relationship between the Dishroom and the Custodial members was strained, they were still allies. Nor was Count Milo actually particularly malicious, just somewhat intimidating.

"How many brushes do we have?"

The answer came: "Three in the back, sir, and one in the mop room, I believe."

Count Milo continued speaking to his gang, and handed the brave blonde a brush, not deigning to look at her. However, the blonde Custodial worker had what she needed now, so she uttered a quiet "thank you," most likely too quiet to be heard over the torturous sounds of the clattering dishes, and she escaped once again through the door, grasping her prize.

Later that night, after the Dishroom had been emptied of its occupants, the brave blonde did sneak back, but she found Sir Spencer himself, filling his mop bucket and discreetly checking to see if he could find the Missing Dustpan, so she never did find if it was there. However, before she left work that day, she checked the Custodial Closet, and was satisfied to see that her scrub brush remained in the rightful hands of the Custodial members.